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Grendelcomment: Happy B-Day George Jetson! Adjusted
for reality here's a look at your future famous sit-com.
The Jetsons Today
- Meet George Jetson. 40, recently released from Skyrock
Prison, having served a 16 year sentence as a pederast for statutorily raping Jane
when she was 17 and he was 24. The show's hijinx include
George's treks around the skypad-neighborhood to inform his
neighbors he's a sex offender. But George may not be out of
the slammer for long. He's pending charges once again, this
time for animal cruelty due to a treadmill abuse mishap
involving the late family dog, Astro. Luckily George's
best pal Orbity, his personal sat-phone-AI minder, is there
to give George someone to talk to for advice and consolation.
Meanwhile, Orbity keeps tabs on George for
government monitoring as a condition of his release.
Orbity employs advanced social media mind control on
George to try keeping him from getting into so much
mischief, with hilarious results. Casting suggestion:
Matthew McConaughey. Alright, alright, alright.
- Jane, George's 33 year old body-positivity poster-minx of
a wife, is a proud, independent Womenx who don't need no man.
In fact, she mainly and prolifically prefers women.
Jane formally identifies as "bisexual, leaning heavily
Lesbian with a lean and slender capital 'L', thank you very much."
But she won't let George file for divorce for tax reasons.
After George was behind bars, Jane became a cut
throat corporate lawyer. In fact, she recently won a lawsuit against Spacely Space Sprockets
for discrimination against Womenx and is now sitting on the
newly diversified board of directors. As the details of an
upcoming corporate merger with Cogswell Cogs are
revealed, its nice to see the company executives will do
quite well for themselves. Unfortunately, Jane's been selected to deliver
legally dubious severance packages to middle management and below back at
good old SSSpr. Oh the guffaws to be had during these conundrums, as Jane
learns to jingle her HR lady bracelets consolingly and finds clever and wacky ways to tell folks they're getting
shit-canned . . . all while maintaining top notch employee
termination satisfaction surveys. Casting suggestion:
Say, isn't Amy Schumer looking for work?
- Daughter Judy has become an accomplished crack addict and
experienced prostitute. Achieving these milestones
by the age of 16, Judy sure has a bright future ahead.
She's perplexed why Daddy's still doing time just
for getting caught knocking up dearest Mother all those
years ago. Daughter Judy's busy pursuing a career of
her own. "Dearest mother", as Jane insists upon being
addressed by Judy . . . is as supportive as could be
about Jane's newer career. When Jane featured in the
wildly popular though "unauthorized" pre-series porn spinoff Judy Does Spacebros
BBC, dearest Mother was thrilled to hear all about it.
Judy
is getting her next big chance in showbiz as the world meets the Jetsons.
In one of the first episodes, Judy's struts her stuff as she
tricks out for a skanky little bump and ride session with the
degenerate son of the Mayor
of Orbit City. Casting suggestion: Nope, not gonna go
there.
- His Boy Elroy is a ward of the state. Elroy's serving a
sentence in Space-Juvie for menacing with firearm gestures.
He's presently taking a series of required classes for
conditional release. The focus of the various courses is
about how Elroy needs to change into something other than a
normal little white boy in order to be granted a cubicle in the modern
LGBTQ+ diversity rainbow of
inclusion. Elroy's tortured shame as he's forced into
various identity-altering ploys trying to fit in will be a
running gag. What a hoot. Casting suggestion:
Rotating lineup of Elroys in a genius PR stunt/grift using
the homeless. Each episode will feature an Elroy
portrayed by a lucky little homeless kid of the day selected
from the handy homeless camps surrounding Hollywood.
How convenient.
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Supermen
Of Sanity:
If you are just waking up or getting into your first
cup-o-the-day, the Grendelcat suggests imbibing your recommended
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Styx clanker redpills with a side of optimism and a dash of
perspective courtesy of this philosophical independent
commentator.
For independent commentary from similarly unique perspectives in longer form
try
Sargon,
Scott,
Steven or even
Stefan for some superlative barn-burners. And if you are
feeling a bit too black pilled lately and need a picker-upper, try adding a pinch of
Salty.
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Six
Supermen
Of Sanity:
If you are just waking up or getting into your first
cup-o-the-day, the Grendelcat suggests imbibing your recommended
daily allowance of